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Working with the everyday don't know mind
Paul Goddard
3/28/20264 min read
“We both got very scared, and I wasn't sure of what to do. So I thought this might be a good place for not being sure.”
Piglet talking about himself and Winnie the Pooh
Disney film 2002 ‘A very Merry Pooh Year’
I do appreciate that quoting a fictional character has its drawbacks, not least of which is that there never was any Piglet who ever said such a thing. But if you are lucky enough to remember the books of AA Milne or watched the animated Disney character, you will recall how touching this anxious little pig, the best friend of Winnie the Pooh, could be.
Read the quote and notice that its beautiful, childlike quality belies a presentation of both self awareness and insight into a single moment: While both he and Pooh were scared, Piglet realised in the midst of his confusion and discomfort, that it was indeed perfectly reasonable to be unsure, to not know.
His response is empty of anything other than the facts of the moment. Piglet’s little mind has a simplicity; he accepts what is happening both internally and externally.
Is this something which we experience ourselves in difficult situations? Is it expecting too much to respond this way or is it even helpful?
For me, the root of my many fears is the unknown. I don’t mean the big unknowns, like what happens at the time of death, but questions like how will I cope, what will I say, and any number of human relational difficulties. Fear can make me cowardly, fear can make me a liar, fear keeps me unnecessarily busy with what ifs.
I think we can all remember times when a situation is both confusing and uncomfortable and we respond in different ways. Maybe you can relate to an alternative response to Piglet’s scenario below.
“We both got very scared, and I wasn't sure of what to do. I thought to myself; I knew this would happen, I just can’t cope with these situations. My mind is just blank!
You’ve never been any good, why do you get yourself into these situations.
Pooh is looking to me for help, I can see that. I’m such a let down. Christopher Robin would know what to do. You have these big ideas about yourself. You're not up to it. I can imagine Eeyore’s disapproval. I really should know what to do, I’m old enough to know better.”
This response above may seem a little exaggerated, yet it may be familiar to you in some way. Notice how busy Piglet’s mind is and how little is based on what is actually happening. There is almost no sense of presence. As Piglet contracts upon himself, his attention becomes heavily directed toward his thoughts, which are confirmed by feelings in his little body. The words are deeply personal and critical, coming in short bursts.
Piglet now projects his feelings around him and his thoughts are confirmed by the expression on the face of his friend. As the intensity of his sense of self increases there is little room for other than a desperate sense of aversion and a wish to escape.
To whatever degree we may experience this kind of thing we lean toward old and sometimes dysfunctional responses; We can become distant, maybe angry, cry, or scream, run away or faint. Any number of weird and wonderful responses can be made and quite automatically. We may display unusual or childish behaviour and on reflection we say we were not ourselves. These are responses to conditions derived early on by our very young minds trying to make sense of things, then adapting and protecting.
Suddenly Winnie-the-Pooh stopped, and pointed excitedly in front of him. “Look!”
“What?” said Piglet, with a jump. And then, to show that he hadn’t been frightened, he jumped up and down once or twice more in an exercising sort of way.
Winnie the Pooh Chapter Three by AA Milne.
It is a tribute to the natural intelligence of any human (or piglet). Even before we can talk, this process of adaptation is well under way.
A melt down of any kind can feel like a real block to the development of our practice. We may want to show that our practice is bearing fruit, that we are becoming more calm, more concentrated and less fazed by unforeseen events. This, however, is both denying the reality of where we are with things and the value of suffering. Which is always pointing out that we are holding onto things. Our disappointment clouds our ability to investigate all aspects of ourselves and our foibles with curiosity and kindness.
The Buddha confirms this in the Sutta called the ‘First Turning of the Dhamma Wheel’
"And, monks, as long as this knowledge & vision concerning these four noble truths as they have come to be — was not pure, I did not claim to have directly awakened to the right self-awakening unexcelled in the cosmos”
As Dogen says, ‘to know the self is to forget the self’, this is not a blocking or denying but a natural result of our deepening understanding. If we can be open to the feeling of not knowing, especially with the most insignificant things, we make incremental moves toward understanding ourselves and fostering a loving resilience for when unforeseen situations arise. In those moments we can perhaps allow the universe to play itself out more freely and open ourselves to trust that it is ok to be unsure, to not know.
Have you ever held back from saying hello, feeling sure the person will not respond? Or not made that call, fearing how the conversation will go? Have you ever held back, knowing you will fail? Maybe you made excuses or told fibs just because a truthful response would mean rejection?
Perhaps next time experiment, take a pause and tell yourself that you don’t actually know the outcome, then step forward.
❖ Dizang: "Where are you going now?"
❖ Fayan: "I am just resuming my pilgrimage."
❖ Dizang: "Why do you go on pilgrimage?"
❖ Fayan: "I don't know."
❖ Dizang: "Not knowing is the most intimate."
Master Dizang and the PilgrimFrom The Book of Equanimity, Case 20
We all long to be truly alive, to be free and to enjoy the wondrous world beyond our fears. Let us begin this journey together, today. Meeting with and moving into our many little unknowns. Stepping gently, with our heads up, we can take the hand of the little one we once were and see what the world has to offer.
Copyright 2026 Paul Goddard.